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BDSM for Beginners...what's it all about?

Updated: Jan 24, 2022

Short for Bondage, discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism.

The history of BDSM is complicated and revolutionary, a history filled with strong women and men. It is a history exposing the creation of gender and questioning social normativity. It is not just about sex! BDSM has become a lifestyle, with its own set of rules and orders, a culture people practice in order to be edgy, to startle by wearing a collar, a rope pentagram, or a puppy mask. BDSM and its history is about figuring out yourself, learning and taking responsibility, and refusing to follow or care what others think.

BDSM isn’t for everyone, but it is something that many people are interested in. BDSM existed in 1940s and 1950s America because of underground publication of “sex” magazines. So many of us are interested but where where to start. It is one of those sexual activities that can be so many things but is so much fun, it’ll leave you wondering why you never tried before!

Where to start... there are various levels, curiously kinky entry level through to hard core kink.

Before you go spending a fortune on kit, you can begin with a few items to dip your toe into this exciting world of intrigue. Creativity lets you explore elements of BDSM, and you might be surprised some of the items you can use for beginner’s BDSM that you already own:

  • A spatula or spoon becomes a spanking implement

  • Scarves, ties or sleep masks become blindfolds (but these items are not good for tying someone up, more on that later!)

  • Clothespins can be used to clamp nipples or your clitoris

  • Knee-high boots make you look like a sexy dominatrix

  • You can tease and torture with a vibrating egg

  • Try ice to stimulate your man’s skin

You may not have heard of all of the terms or you don’t practice them personally or find some of them a turn off, stick with it, it does not mean that you are not ‘into’ BDSM. The practice of BDSM can come in many forms and is completely dependant on individual preferences. Not everybody who is actively involved within the BDSM lifestyle practices everything all that is on offer. Don't forget, There is no “right way” to be or to express sex, gender, and sexuality.

If you decide you like it and want to invest we have a great range in our shop What you waiting for get your "Shibari" on!

Safety and trust are important in BDSM, so much to learn, GO EXPLORE!

Jargon! Jargon! See below a few that may get you curious!

- SSC - Safe, Sane and Consensual

- RISK - Risk, Aware, Consensual Kink

- NCS - Non Consensual Sex Contract

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